im entering the last stretch of my personal hell.
aka my last semester at FSU.
im so excited.

is it done yet?

Perpetually I will ruin things. Always.

I don't know why.
It's in my genetic makeup?

I find it kind of funny
i find it kinda sad
the dreams in which im dying are the best ive ever had.

i ran 4 miles in 30 min today...not too bad.
one hour of Jackie Warner WORKOUT vid.

my body is my job.
bitch

workout workout workout
class
work
workout
eat

Nothing is happening.
and i love it.

My parents came-i guess that is something.
It was fun. I love them so :-)

But other than that-im having a pretty peaceful/lazy week.

i make the same mistakes daily.

both a song and the truth.

i went to big daddy's last night.
which was actually a lot more fun that I though it was going to be.
i needed a night like that.
just wild dancing-i don't think i thought about anything for two hours.

a girl was all about me-but she wasn't my type
i made out with her twice...then told her i would brb.
opps-its the most hetero DB thing i've ever done.
i love it.

Today was really nice too!
I got to hang out with Sheryll-just the two of us.
I love that girl.
and even though i live with her i forgot how much i've missed her.

summer has been the weirdest.
i've let all of my priorities get out of wack.
and spending time in all the wrong places.
its been both really good and bad.
i've done a lot of things that i had wanted to accomplish.
which is nice-it's just been a weird experience overall.

Im excited for a new school year.
also-i think im going to new york for my birthday.
:-)

Im having the worst luck with working out today.
I mean. I know I have not been in a while.

but.

I went to the gym today, and only ran 2 miles and was way tired.
And I didnt finish all my reps on my other workouts.
it made me sad
jackie warner would have killed me.

then i was supposed to go running with people at the stadium
but it ended up just being david and i.
and i did not notice my shoelace was untied.
and i rolled my ankle really badly and hit my knee
but because im dumb and hate quiting.

i still jogged/walked the rest of the planned run.
and now im in pain.

le sigh.
ill never look good.

And not enough drive

i want to write a book.

I have always wanted to-ever since i was a child.
I love to read, but i always told myself i was too un-talented
ect.

So I think that I am going to try and just put something down.
Who knows.

Normal is the half-way point between what you want, and what you can get.
-sex and the city

And I am way beyond normal.
I seem to be getting everything I want lately.
And maybe I shouldn't say that because it jinx's everything.
BUT
I dont give a shit.
Karma isn't really my 'thing' but I have got to say that I am feeling very nirvana at the moment

I'm in the ten min. before I need to go to the gym today. Which is not something I ever envisioned me doing-going to the gym on a regular basis. Well..sort of regular. I've had this membership for about two months now. But I cant seem to get myself to really GO as much as I need to go. But I am usually going 3 times a week which i guess is something, and I am def progressing from when I started, its interesting to look at pictures of your own body and see how it has changed. But I really have to crack down the next couple of weeks because I am doing a show in which I will be practically naked on stage. YAY.

Midsummer. (the show i'm in) has been quite the experience. Its gotten me to meet a lot of new people which i always nice, because I hate being stagnant.

Sex is great.

this is not news or anything, but just to get it out there
it is.
And its great to have it whenever you want.
Without having to worry about all the rest of it.
And that may sound slutty.
But, ive been very sex and the city lately.
Im feeling sexually liberated.
Im not sex like samantha
I've always been a carrie bradshaw.
i have rules, I dont have sex on the first date...i mean. come on.

And almost more thrilling than sex, is the knowing that you have sexual power.
I've never been one to be confident in myself, or think that I was attractive in anyway.
But I dont know...something changed?
I like to play the game because I know that I can play it.
And this week has been pretty much a whirlwind of feeling powerful?

So I still dont have a mr. big.
but i DO have a few to keep me occupied till then.
and im more than happy for that.

a smile can hide the greatest pain.
secrets can be kept for ages.
people can leave you whenever they want.
a lie is told in mere seconds
happiness is where you make it.
so is sadness.

its the things we KNOW shouldn't bother us that do.
the things we say.
STOP THINKING ABOUT!
that never leave our mind.

In giving a piece of yourself to someone you get a little piece of them.
When they go?
You're left missing the piece that you gave away,
wondering what to fill that space with.
when we're smart.
we appreciate that empty space.

It gives our dreams ROOM to RUN.

the best use of life is love.
The best expression of love is time.
The best time to love is now.
-Rick Warren